25... The year that wasn't

Last night I was having trouble sleeping.

I kept thinking about the fact that I had 72 hours left of being 25 years old.

Over the past few weeks I have thought about how much I have not enjoyed my 25th year.

I have taken and failed the Oregon Bar Exam twice, and with that I have been stuck studying Oregon Law for an entire year, give or take a few weeks. I have lost friends due to untimely deaths, may you both rest in peace, Paola and Jennifer. Along with that I have had to watch friends going through such tremendous amounts of grief as these two girls were both taken from this world much too soon. I have had to go through the loss of one of my most favorite uncles, a caring, intelligent, loving, and wonderful man, my uncle Bud. I have had to watch Joe deal with the loss of his first grandparent, his grandpa Lee, a man who was always willing to lend a helping hand and who definitely is deeply missed. I have been jobless the entire year. I have had to help my father pack up an entire house due to foreclosure, when he should have had help from those who lived there with him.

I ended my 24th year graduating from law school. I thought 25 would be fantastic. It really hasn't. But I cannot simply leave this message with the bad, even though it has been predominant in my life.

There have been some good things happen this year. Joe and I have grown together even more. We have had to go through a lot of hard times this past year and I really think it has made our relationship stronger. I have been able to witness my sister becoming a wonderfully caring and loving mother to my niece. I have watched my parents become fantastic grandparents to my niece. I have watched my niece, Selena, grow and develop a personality. I have watched her become familiar with me and become a very loving girl. And lastly, I have watched myself grow in terms of strength and perseverance. I have been through the ringer. I have been worn down by life and the obstacles that I have encountered. But I have not given up. And I will not give up. I will not lay down and let these unfortunate circumstances win, I will overcome.

Here's to hoping that my 26th year is so much better than my 25th!

My American Idol debate...

I have really tried to refrain from posting my thoughts about this season of American Idol because while I have been happy at times, I have mostly thought the competition was unfair and things that have happened just weren't right.

In particular, if you are a friend of mine IRL you know that I HATE Jessica Sanchez. And yes, I know hate is a strong word, so maybe I should just say I really really dislike her.

For example, the one time she gets "voted off" by America, the judges are able to "save her" with the single judges' save. Then after that point she is hardly ever in bottom 2. Why do I feel like this was a set-up? So that the judges could waste their only save on her? I know I sound all conspiracy theory here, but it is EXACTLY how I feel and EXACTLY how it looks. Annoying.  

I just don't feel like she is genuine. Maybe it's because she is so young and has led a relatively sheltered life... That is what some of my friends have said, but I'm still not sure if I believe it.

Then I also have friends who have claimed that she is going to be the next Whitney Houston. And I'm like "WHAT? There is NO WAY!"

But, somehow she has made it to the finals. This week we will know if she wins and if I will further lose my faith in one of my most beloved reality shows. Thank God for The Voice! :)

Anyway, all of that being said, I REALLY hope Phillip wins! He is just too original to not win.

 

Swoon... 

 

Guy with a guitar :) 

And because I loved others in the competition whom I think deserved to make it further, here's my shout outs to them!

  

Colton Dixon, I always love the rockers on Idol. I think you were voted off much too soon and I look forward to hearing more from you in the future. 

 

Skylar Laine, you are such a little spitfire. I loved all of your performances and wished you would have made it further. You should have been the final girl.