Seems to be my theme song this past week. I cannot even begin to explain the numerous BOMBS that have been dropped on me this week. Apparently everyone who knows me also have impecable timing with telling me these things RIGHT BEFORE my Bar.
Showing posts with label Anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anger. Show all posts
Friday, February 17, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Rants...
Wow. Just too many things getting on my nerves lately.
Went to get my taxes done today. I'm getting back $43 dollars. Woo hoo. Big money, no? And I am paying around $300 for preparation so I'm actually not getting anything back. It just sucks. I hate taxes. People talk about big refunds, but I've never seen one. It's just not fair. But I could go on and on, so I will stop this rant here.
On another note, found out today that my dad is moving back to Alaska. And how, you might ask did I find out? Did he tell me? Nope. I found out on Facebook. Gotta love that, right? There is so much more to this story that I could write about, but I do not have the time nor the energy to do so. However, it will make for a great story and entry later on!
And I'm kind of getting annoyed at people. One of my best friends just got to Vegas for a girls trip for celebrating finishing her mid terms. Seriously? I didn't get a fun trip for graduating law school or taking the Bar exam and she gets a Vegas trip for finishing mid terms at a community college? It just doesn't seem right or fair.
As for me, I'm here, at home, studying away. I have 18 days until the Bar exam and I am FREAKED out. I have good days and I have bad days... Days where I am positive, and days where I am utterly petrified. I am just beyond freaked out of failing again. But I know I need to think positive and just keep working hard. So that is what I am trying to do.
Went to get my taxes done today. I'm getting back $43 dollars. Woo hoo. Big money, no? And I am paying around $300 for preparation so I'm actually not getting anything back. It just sucks. I hate taxes. People talk about big refunds, but I've never seen one. It's just not fair. But I could go on and on, so I will stop this rant here.
On another note, found out today that my dad is moving back to Alaska. And how, you might ask did I find out? Did he tell me? Nope. I found out on Facebook. Gotta love that, right? There is so much more to this story that I could write about, but I do not have the time nor the energy to do so. However, it will make for a great story and entry later on!
And I'm kind of getting annoyed at people. One of my best friends just got to Vegas for a girls trip for celebrating finishing her mid terms. Seriously? I didn't get a fun trip for graduating law school or taking the Bar exam and she gets a Vegas trip for finishing mid terms at a community college? It just doesn't seem right or fair.
As for me, I'm here, at home, studying away. I have 18 days until the Bar exam and I am FREAKED out. I have good days and I have bad days... Days where I am positive, and days where I am utterly petrified. I am just beyond freaked out of failing again. But I know I need to think positive and just keep working hard. So that is what I am trying to do.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
And the self-loathing just continues...
I feel awful.
Is this a new feeling? No.
It is a feeling I have been harboring ever since I found out the Bar results.
Has it gotten better, you would think it would... But no, if anything it has gotten worse. It seems to grow worse day by day. I have some "good" days, but mostly they are bad.
I have tried to find work, a job, any job.
I have been turned away for jobs that I was more than qualified for. Today just that happened.
I was at the gym for yoga and when I got out of class there was the message in my voicemail, "we have decided to accept another applicant and will not be hiring you... we will keep your information on file..."
Why do people even say that? As if keeping my application, which you will most likely just end up never looking at again, and then tossing it, "on file" is supposed to make everything better.
Well, guess what, it doesn't. But I guess if it makes it easier for you to sleep at night, then more power to you.
Me on the other hand, I don't sleep. At least not well. It's been months since I've had a good nights' rest.
And everyone keeps saying it will get better, this is just God's plan, etc. And while I really TRULY want to believe them, I also just want to tell them to SHUT UP.
Why did I spend 100s of thousands of dollars on higher education to not even be eligible for a minimum wage position? Is this what God planned for me? To not even be barely making it by?
Don't get me wrong, I do believe in God and I want to believe that things will get better... but it is SO HARD.
Now I guess all I can do is keep trying to find work. However, my luck, things will turn around and I will find a job just when I need to get fully involved with studying again for Bar attempt #2.
Is this a new feeling? No.
It is a feeling I have been harboring ever since I found out the Bar results.
Has it gotten better, you would think it would... But no, if anything it has gotten worse. It seems to grow worse day by day. I have some "good" days, but mostly they are bad.
I have tried to find work, a job, any job.
I have been turned away for jobs that I was more than qualified for. Today just that happened.
I was at the gym for yoga and when I got out of class there was the message in my voicemail, "we have decided to accept another applicant and will not be hiring you... we will keep your information on file..."
Why do people even say that? As if keeping my application, which you will most likely just end up never looking at again, and then tossing it, "on file" is supposed to make everything better.
Well, guess what, it doesn't. But I guess if it makes it easier for you to sleep at night, then more power to you.
Me on the other hand, I don't sleep. At least not well. It's been months since I've had a good nights' rest.
And everyone keeps saying it will get better, this is just God's plan, etc. And while I really TRULY want to believe them, I also just want to tell them to SHUT UP.
Why did I spend 100s of thousands of dollars on higher education to not even be eligible for a minimum wage position? Is this what God planned for me? To not even be barely making it by?
Don't get me wrong, I do believe in God and I want to believe that things will get better... but it is SO HARD.
Now I guess all I can do is keep trying to find work. However, my luck, things will turn around and I will find a job just when I need to get fully involved with studying again for Bar attempt #2.
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